All weekend I was full of Haankar, we had a Sikhism competition and I thought I was going to do the best. In the competition we were supposed to recite Japji Sahib Path, give a speech and write in gurmukhi. I did well in the speech and gurmukhi portion but I only did 15 pauri in Jap Ji sahib Path. Another person who went after me did 16 pauri path and good in everything else too. After the competition was over a lot of the people from the audience and few of the judges came over to tell me I did good and how the just loved my speech. I was full of so much haankar that I did better than the other people, it was unbearable and I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Everyone was enjoying the picnic after the competition but all I could think of was if I was going to get first place when the winners were announced the next day. I was drowning in Haankar and begging Waheguru to pull me out of it. Because I just couldn’t stop the thoughts that were flooding in my mind even though I knew they were wrong.
When a Sikh begs Waheguru for something with a true heart he helps. I had asked Waheguru to help me do well in the competition and he did that, everyone told me so. Now I was begging to be helped fight my haankar which I felt like I was drowning in. He worked his magic again. The next morning when the awards were to be given out, he made me sit in the front with the teacher and organize the prizes. I had to hand all the prizes to the teacher so she could have them given to the students as the had their names called. I had thought I was going to get all these awards for being a student and helping run the class. I had spent hundreds of dollars to help this class and I thought I was going to get so much appreciation. None of that happened, I got second place in the competition, and just a small mention for all my hard work. As I sat there and passed the awards, I realized all the people that were getting the awards didn’t make a big deal about them and they didn’t do it to earn appreciation. After the award ceremony I did get lot of hugs, like I always do.
Hugs and sweet words, Waheguru Ji works hard to kill my haankar by keeping me away from awards and closer to sweeter things that don’t get a person attached. He is helping me appreciated doing a good deed without expecting awards and getting caught up in haankar. He constantly sends me opportunities to do good deeds that promise sweet awards that never show up. Do the good deed he says and stop expecting awards. Right now I can’t see above the awards because my haankar but because I have asked him to help me, he keeps giving me chances to learn and is constantly guiding.
To kill haankar we must be willing to ask him to help us. Today I am trading in my haankar for a kara to constantly remind me of Waheguru whenever I do anything and everything. With him constantly on my mind I well remember him before I get caught up in haankar, instead of when I am drowning.