The First Role of a Woman
In the home of a Khalsa Family I take birth and in the steps of Bibi Bhani Ji I find the purpose of life. In the age of media, there is no lack of role models to whom we mold our lives after but none can be as great as Bibi Bhani Ji. From being a daughter of Guru, she went on to be the wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and great great grandmother of Guru. No other women in Sikhi History or any history has received as much honor as Bibi Bhani Ji. Let us mold our lives after hers by putting Guru Ji before ourselves, reciting Gurbani and listening to our Parents.
The leg of the stool on which Guru Amar Das Ji, the father of Bibi Bhani Ji, was sitting broke and Bibi Ji put her foot under it, rather than till her father to move, so he wouldn’t be disturbed. That is the love Bibi Ji had for her true Guru, that she rather be in pain then to let her Guru Ji be disturbed during his meditation. How many times do we sit in Darbar Hall in the presence of Guru Granth Sahib Ji and disturb him with our gossip? Bibi Ji couldn’t bear to disturb her Guru for even a moment and yet we daily put our needs before Guru Ji. Think back to the last time you picked Guru Ji, over your own personally needs or benefit. Think back to the feeling you get of serving someone without expecting something back is amazing. And needless to say the greatest gifts tend to come out of service you didn’t without expectation because you had no expectations for a reward and that automatically makes the reward great. Guru Ji only rewards those that don’t serve to receive a reward but instead serve selflessly. So put Guru Ji before yourself and all your desires will go away because he’ll fulfill them before you can even think of them.
The easiest and best way to put Guru Ji before yourself is to recite Gurbani and live in his remembrance. Bibi Ji always lived in the remembrance of Waheguru and recited Gurbani with every breath. That is why when Guru Amar Das Ji asked her to ask for anything she wanted so he could reward her, she asked the Gurgaddi to remain in the family. She had no hunger or desire to be Guru herself or to get any benefit for herself because Gurbani had calmed her insides so much, all she saw was that in the past there had been arguments over who should be the rightful Guru and wanted those to end. She didn’t look for her personal benefit and instead thought of it being wrong that anyone should fight or argue over Gurgaddi to such a peaceful religion. By reciting Gurbani, Bibi Ji got so much calmness/purity within her that she could think beyond herself and not think of personal gain for doing so. That is why Waheguru rewarded her with the honor of being a daughter, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a great grandmother and a great great grandmother of a Guru. That is more than anyone could imagine asking for. So let us recite Gurbani and be blessed.
It is thru our parents that Guru Ji blesses us and that is why Guru Ji always tells us to listen and respect our parents. Bibi Bhani Ji once again gives us a great example of this by marrying Bhai Jetha Ji (who later becomes Guru Ram Das Ji) as per the wishes of her parents. Never does she question her parents on their decisions, instead places her trust in them and Waheguru. At the time of her marriage to Bhai Jetha Ji, Bibi Ji did not know that Bhai Jetha Ji will one day become the fourth Guru of the Sikhs; all she knew was that her parents thought that was the best match for her. Because she listened to her parents, Waheguru blessed her with the ability to stay close to her home and continue service of her parents. Bibi Ji was blessed with a husband that understood her and loved her parents as much as she did. Bibi Ji never questioned her parents but today we question our parents at every step on the basis of times have changed; times may have changed but the love of parents have not. It is the duty of every child to listen to and respect their parents, not become the parents themself. When we listen to our parents and do everything in our ability to make their words true, Waheguru himself supports us and makes everything all right. No parent can think ill of a child that reveres them as Guru and if for some reason they still do Waheguru himself comes to the defense of the child. Just believe in Waheguru, follow in the steps of Bibi Bhani Ji and respect and trust your parents. Remember you have two sets of parents first your spiritual parents, Guru Gobind Singh Ji and Mata Sahib Kaur Ji and then your actual parents. Respect them both equally but put your spiritual parents one step ahead.
When we follow in the footsteps of Bibi Bhani Ji, we become the true daughters of The Khalsa. We learn to live a life where we put Guru Ji before ourselves, the importance of Gurbani and the value of Parents. Let us stop looking at the current role models that are easily available thanks to ever present media and take a look back at the one in our history that teaches us directly how to be a good daughter. Bibi Bhani Ji, the role model of every girl born into a Sikh Family.