Every once in a while something that does not go the way we wanted even after a lot of prayer and we begin to question why Waheguru Ji forgot us. I have to admit that in the past few months I went through a similar mindset, where a small part of me doubted Waheguru Ji. I was going through a bad phase and made some mistakes. While I was waiting for consequences of my mistakes, I remember sitting there and praying for Waheguru Ji to get me out of trouble. It didn’t work; I had to face the music. I remember a part of me doubted Waheguru Ji for not saving me and another part saying there has to be a reason. Five months later I am finally able to see the bigger picture. The lessons I learned are have faith, be willing to look and listen and then live in his remembrance.
I had doubted Guru Ji on and off for months before Guru Ji reminded me the importance of having faith. Every time my mind had doubts, I forced myself to say out loud that Waheguru Ji probably had a good reason and not to doubt. I did not let the doubts win over my faith of Waheguru Ji. I did not allow my doubts to win but as time passed it got harder to think there was a reason for all of it. Beginning of this month I had to apply for liquor license to be allowed to sell alcohol at a Gas Station my parents wanted to gift me. I was so scared that because of my earlier mistake I would not be given the license and would have to face my parent’s wrath. The mistake had nothing to do with anything but still I was nervous. I was questioning why Waheguru Ji instilled this fear of messing everything up in me and prayed continuously for Him to get me out of this situation. He was merciful and I got called into the liquor office saying that everything was approved just a few minor details left. I breathed a sigh of relief and was in celebration mood, when the lady came without the proper papers and told me there was a problem. I could not have the liquor license since I was not yet 21. At this point my mistake no longer mattered; I can’t be on the license period. I had a shaky faith in him and he got me out of two problems, one I didn’t even notice at the time.
As I walked out of the office, Waheguru Ji allowed me to see the second problem I had just avoided. It is against Sikhi to sell alcohol and with a liquor license; I would have attached myself to this profession for a very long time. I currently sell alcohol and cigarettes because I am stuck to this for the sake of my parents. But I have always asked Waheguru Ji to help me find something that is better suited for Sikhs. By creating the problems I faced five months ago, He Himself made me pray to get out a situation that I didn’t realize I was getting into. Now it makes complete sense that He had to do what He did so I would have no attachment to this gift of my parents and He can find something better for me along the road. Because I was willing to open my eyes and ears to Him, my faith is no longer shaky. I know He did what He had to so I would be a better Sikh.
I learnt my lesson not to doubt Him and I will always remember these lessons and live in His remembrance. The moment the lesson is forgotten or Waheguru Ji is forgotten I open my life up to a world of miseries. Currently in His remembrance I am in a state of mind where I know good or bad, it’s wonderful because He is on my side. It Waheguru Ji whatever He does is right for me.
Waheguru Ji please continue to have mercy on me and stop me from making mistakes that I don’t always fore see. To always be with me, even when I doubt you. Please continue to shower your little mercies on me.